Want more joy? More vitality? More warmth? We would recommend investing in faith, family, and friendships.
Mercedes-Benz would recommend the S-Class.
Specifically, MB would recommend one of six new in-house (or rather, in-car) spa-style comfort programmes offered in their new S-Class model. That’s right, Mercedes S-Class comfort control represents the world premiere of an ENERGIZING comfort control system. This system boasts six pre-set “programmes” that activate a series of the car’s comfort controls (such as lighting, music, and heating/cooling systems) designed to “enhance the physical comfort and performance” of the driver. The driver can choose between six programmes (MB insists on the priggish British spelling…) labeled:
If I’m Questioning My Freshness I Should Go for a Drive?
We guess that means that, when you lose turgidity or feel sort of flaccid, like a piece of cooked broccoli, you can choose the “Freshness” programme to get you back on your feet with mood-enhancing music, lighting, and visual displays on the dash screen that are specially chosen to make you feel, well, refreshed. Or, if you feel rather impotent and unproductive, “Vitality” might be for you.
There are other controls activated by these programmes that include climate control settings such as “fragrancing”—time-releasing fragrances intended for mood-setting—and seat controls ranging from heating to ventilation to massage. The display screen uses color graphics in combination with ambient lighting to create your ideal atmosphere.
Not feelin’ Leon Riskin’s “Feelin’ Good”? Although it comes pre-set on the “Vitality” programme, you can choose your own music. The ENERGIZING comfort control system will then analyze the composition and, based on the beats per minute, assign it to one of the six programmes.
The “Training” programme works you through three training modes and concentrates on muscle relaxation, activation, and balance. We’re still not sure how you can relax and balance these training sessions with, you know, driving…
After This, Only One Questions Remains
Why ever pay for the spa if you can own your own spa and park it in the garage?
Perhaps because the S-Class goes for around $100k. However, if you have that kind of cash stuffed in a mattress and were wondering how to put it to use for your ultimate comfort, we say: go for the S-Class.